920. Occurrence given to Raymond Aguilera on 25 June 1996.
I am going to document this feeling of exhaustion that I have. It's been a few days since I received the last prophecy. My body was left totally exhausted after I sent out the last prophecy to our e-mail list (brothers and sisters) even with some spelling errors. I could not wait to send it out. I wish the Lord would give me a break, what I mean is - to go easy with His Holy Spirit's Power. My body can't take too much more. I am losing my hair; and what I have left is turning white. I get so exhausted after receiving and typing a prophecy like this. It doesn't sound like much work, but it leaves me totally wasted. Afterwards, I am left off unbalanced and I can't function.
I went to see a friend after I mailed out the prophecy; and I found myself driving all over the freeway - like a drunk. I could not perceive distance or speed. I was suppose to do a small job for Carl, but I was so sleepy that I had to come back home. Then, when I got home, I fell straight to sleep for over five and one-half hours. After, my long afternoon sleep, I got up and found out I still couldn't do a thing. So I went to the Monday night Bible study. My mind was awake, but it was not really there. The Holy Spirit's Touch, or wherever you want to call it, has my mind still in the Spirit. It is still not back - into the flesh yet.
And I can't explain this craving for fruit after a prophecy either; and it is hard for me to understand it. I feel... like I am going to die if I don't eat some fruit. After the Bible study, the sister - whose house where we had the bible study, gave me most of the fruit she had in her house. And this morning, I still feel exhausted, and cannot get out of bed and I have a craving for fruit. Then later in the afternoon, I ate so much fruit - my stomach got upset.
Any of you who are reading this - please pray for me. Pray that the Lord gives me the physical strength to move on. I can't seem to do it on my own. I almost thought of asking the Lord not to give me anymore prophecies. For I am physically exhausted, I am still financially broke. I am $100 overdrawn in my checking account, and I can't buy fruit or even pay my bills. I don't know. I sure didn't think the Lord worked this way; but when you sense all of His Power - when you receive a prophecy and even when you type it - even days later; you know His authority over you. Sometimes I cry! Sometimes I can't believe the directness and the pointedness of His message. I don't how many prophets are experiencing this, but if the Lord doesn't slow down, I feel I am going to die. Maybe that won't be so bad! But you know - I don't think I am going to die. I think, I have to finish my job, but my joints, hands, and all my body parts hurt, and are saying - give me some rest ...and some decent food!!!
Lord, if You are listening right now, I need a vacation. Not a long one - my body needs to be refreshed. You just gotta do something because I am dying. I don't have enough rest, time, brains, body or money. You have given me so much work and I am only one person. Though their are other people helping me - I have to do too much myself! I guess that's all. I hope You don't think I am naming and claiming this. Let Your will be done. (over)